Patrick Hogan was always a breath of fresh air. From the first time I came to visit Emily’s family in college, I realized that unlike my other friend’s families, the Hogans didn’t feel the need to keep me entertained. Instead, they made space for me, and let me find my own place with their family. I felt right at home.
Patrick had an incredible wry sense of humor—and an almost superhuman ability to never take himself, or any situation he was in, too seriously. Somehow this fit right in with my own eccentric upbringing. My family couldn’t have been more different than the Hogan family; and yet I loved the perspective on things that Patrick had, and that he had passed on to Emily and Ryan.
He picked up on the fact that I had a lot of interest in the Bible, and we would chat about all kinds of obscure passages and topics. One time, he called me on the way to a funeral, trying to locate a particular verse he was thinking of. He laughed a lot after that about his son-in-law getting calls from hearses.
Patrick and I were both introverts when it came to expressing emotions, and so most of our conversations were light-hearted. But he had sincere and deep feelings. Once, when he was sitting across from me at the kitchen table, with his voice shaking, he said
I know it’s hard for me to say anything serious…
But I want to thank you for the love you have for my daughter.
I told him I knew I was the one who was fortunate to have her in my life. Then we returned to awkwardly making jokes, and working on our projects.
Patrick always obviously loved his family—and I felt loved as part of his family.
I don’t know whether he would admit it or not, but he also loved life—and like all people who love life, he intensely loved specific things, and specific pastimes, and many, many specific people. And I loved him for that.